Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
