I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
