This dress was meant to end up on your floor
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
