Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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