Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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