tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Help. Why am I so naked?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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