she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
