marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
