do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
