I hate all girls vehemently.
Jerry, you need to find god
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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