There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
