in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
