Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
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... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..