I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.