So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM