I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria