I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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