take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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