I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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