Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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