Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
