I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
