You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
