if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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