officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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