I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize