recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
