Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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