Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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