oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
