Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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