I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
