Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
