my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
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I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
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Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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