Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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