you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
