Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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