ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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