Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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