May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
