Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I am spending my child support on dildos
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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