ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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