maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
