so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
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I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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