You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
