This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
