playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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