He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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