Whod you bang
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
