this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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