I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Panties = found
Randomize
