Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
