If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm always down for nudity.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
