i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
