it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
