TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All I want is dick and wine.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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