he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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