she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
