I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
