did you get engaged???
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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