Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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