Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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