Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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