Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
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I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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