Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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