haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
my mouth tastes like poor choices
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
