Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
