You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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