he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
