so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
