Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
